Fate Is a Witch by Ward Parker

Author:Ward Parker [Parker, Ward]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mad Mangrove Media
Published: 2020-04-29T22:00:00+00:00

Missy had thought the five-hour drive would be a great opportunity to bond further with Agnes. She hadn’t counted on the backseat of her rental car being occupied by two additional vampires. Sol and Oleg were recruited by Agnes to be the “muscle” of the group. That guys in their seventies and sixties in body age, respectively, were considered muscle tells you what living in a Florida retirement community does to your perspective.

They left shortly after dusk, as Jellyfish Beach’s version of rush hour was petering out. Once Missy merged onto I-95, she glanced in the rearview mirror at the “muscle.” Sol, with his long nose, bat-like ears, and spectral face, looked like Nosferatu incongruously wearing a Red Sox cap and earbuds. He nodded his head to whatever music a 450-year-old would be into. Oleg, the baby of her passengers at only 300-some-odd years, stared out the window stoically. Passing headlights gleamed on the shaved head of the former cavalry officer under Catherine the Great.

This was the longest drive Missy had ever gone on with vampires. Unlike many seniors, Missy’s passengers didn’t have to stop frequently to use the restroom. Vampires don’t pee very often, every other day at the most. They drink very little water and their metabolisms are exponentially slower than humans’. But that didn’t mean the vampires were easy car-mates.

They constantly argued about the temperature settings. The rental car didn’t have separate controls for the rear seat, so it was an unending battle. Agnes preferred warmer temperatures. The gentlemen in back wanted it cold. No matter who won out, the temperature was about ten degrees cooler than Missy could stand.

They had another annoying habit. Most vampires have a strong predatory instinct. Ridiculously strong. Missy discovered how strong when, along a rural stretch of the interstate, Oleg suddenly barked a command in his Russian accent that she pull over. With no idea what the problem was, she stopped in the break-down lane. Oleg leaped out of the car before it had stopped rolling and darted off into the forest of slash pines.

“What the heck was that all about?” Missy asked.

“There are some deer about a hundred yards into the woods,” Agnes replied.

“You actually know that?”

“They make a lot of noise when they walk around in the brush,” Agnes said. “And they have a very distinct scent.”

“I told you guys I brought snacks so we wouldn’t have to stop,” Missy said. “There are plenty of blood bags in the cooler.”

“It’s instinctual, dear,” Agnes said. “He can’t help it.”

Sol, stared in the direction Oleg had gone, but his own predatory instinct was apparently easier to overcome. He continued to bob his head to the beat of whatever was on his undead playlist.

Oleg emerged from the woods and sprinted over the grass to the car.

“Sorry about that,” he said, wiping a few drops of blood from his chin with a napkin. “But it was refreshing.”

“Is everyone all set?” Missy asked. “No more stops, I don’t care what critters we pass.”

“Yes, Missy,” the vampires all replied.

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